But Should I…?

 

I should.. But should I?

Many of us feel so compelled to complete the majority of our daily tasks, simply because we ‘should.’ If everything is done just because we ‘should’ do it, are we not merely existing inside our own little prisons with very little free will or enjoyment to our lives?

 

We get up in the morning, because we should. Go to work, because we should. Exercise, because we should. Sometimes, we even keep to social arrangements, just because we think we should.

 

For Robyn, her earliest memory of this was when she was forced to go and see the Mask of Zoro in 1998, specifically remembering that she was told she had to go because it’s a family trip and that was the end of that. She didn’t want to go. She was 8. Neither Zoro nor his mask filled her with any excitement at all.

 

Of course she went, because she felt that she should. This feeling has lodged itself deeply within many of us and while it is not all negative, as it nurtures a generous, selfless side to us, we must ask ourselves, when is my own happiness going to be at the forefront?

 

Something to focus on is that ultimately, only YOU are in control of your own happiness and wellbeing. Only you really know your true limits and only you can say, actually I can’t do that today.

 

A good tactic is to analyse why you think you should do something. We’ll take exercising as a simple example. Let’s face it, we all have days where we cannot be bothered getting up for a glass of water, never mind 30 minutes partying with the kettlebells!

 

 

“there is nothing more satisfying that saying no to something you don’t want to do”

 

 

So, rather than thinking ‘I should go to the gym,’ really think about your reasons for going.

 

This will hopefully lead you to a place of doing things in life because you want to, not simply because you feel that you should. If you are comfortable in this place, you will then be able to identify the things that you really don’t want to do, and you won’t do them!

 

Your reasons for going to the gym, aside from simply that you feel you should, are perhaps one, more or all of the following:

• It makes you feel strong;
• It gives you an energy boost;
• It is helping you to achieve the body composition that you are working towards;
• The health benefits are endless;
• It makes you feel happy;
• It frees your mind;
• You enjoy the company of the people you workout with.

 

All of the above are not things that you should do. They are things that YOU want, to enrich your day and your life. Therefore, with this example alone, if you truly believe the above reasons, or of course your own unique reasons for wanting to do a specific task, then you are not doing it because you should, but because you want to! This is great and should pave the way for the majority of the tasks we do in our lives.

 

If you are doing something only because you feel you should, just ask yourself if it is right for you. If you cannot think of any reason why you want to do the task; or if the reasons why you don’t want to overwhelm the reasons why you do, then please consider not doing it.

 

Trust us, there is nothing more satisfying that saying no to something you don’t want to do.

 

Back to 1998, if Robyn thought that the reason for going to see the film was to make her whole family happy, this may have changed the angle somewhat from ‘I should’ to ‘I want to’ go. Cutting 8 year old Robyn some slack, she probably would have had to go anyway! But hopefully you get the idea.